Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
