some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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