I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
