I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
