I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
