I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
