We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
