Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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