do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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