I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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