Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
