I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
