We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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