pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
