She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
