my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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