Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
