in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
