I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
