The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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