You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
