We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize