he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
