Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
