I hate your face
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
