tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
