Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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