The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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