Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
