She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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