I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
