Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
