Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
