Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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