have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize