i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
