doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
