I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
