Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
