that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
