I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
