apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
