I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
