A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
