you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize