Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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