is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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