The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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