I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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