Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
