Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
