I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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