BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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