I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
