Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
