Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
