We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
