i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
