i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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