week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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