I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
third nipple confirmed
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
