just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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