the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize