There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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