Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
