And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize