so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
