Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the day after is always just damage control
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
