I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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