Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
40s are totally the cure
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
