4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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