I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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