was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
