You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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