I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
