you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
