Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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