Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This toilet bowl is my home.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
