I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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