something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize