Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
