I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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