are you still at the devil's house?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
