How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
