How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bring me that man meat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
