The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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