I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
